Academically Speaking

I don’t like writing things that aren’t from the heart. So, rather than that, I write what I call heartless haikus. Mostly just to pass the time. Like now, while I’m here waiting for you to come to. They are quick, simple, and unlike limericks, they don’t even have to rhyme. Hell, they don’t even have to make sense or mean anything. Trust me, academics can find meaning in a shoelace.

Maybe we shouldn’t have drunk so much last night. Maybe I should have dropped you off at your mother’s instead of bringing you here. There are no rules; even single-word haiku can work. I’ve done that, and won a prize for it too! You can always scribble up a batch of haiku, bunch them together, and send them to places all over. Editors will always take two or three from everyone, and they love fresh young poets. Editors like to promote new meat to dispel the image of themselves being basically old hippies with English degrees.

Did you drive us back? Could I have? Do you remember? I don’t know. Then there’s senryu, even easier! Or work your way up to a five-line tanka. Maybe do a thread with someone, but not with me… Maybe it was Uber. I don’t remember. Suddenly, I’m not feeling very well either. When you get back on your feet, can you make us some coffee? You will want to write some haibun, too. I really shouldn’t go out with my students.

I hope you’ll be okay. After you’ve practiced writing and played around with these “popular Japanese forms,” you’ll be eager to grow past them and into a natural style of your own. In time, maybe decades, you will discover your own unique and original form of free verse. I know I promised to help you with that. Consider that I’ve been writing the same old shit for over fifty years, and teaching it for thirty. And look at me now! I’m the poet laureate of Quartzite, Arizona. That’s something, right?

Keep in mind, too, that it’s not in my nature to follow my own advice. We’ve been at this for a week. You know me by now. I still resolve my challenges by sulking, watching Star Trek reruns, and binge drinking Hennessy with Budweiser chasers. Late-night drives through the mountains with someone young and sweet can also soothe me.
Get well, kiddo! Can I get you some coffee? I’ll be back.

<~~~~~~~~~~>

I’ve thought for some time

of a life is beyond haiku

it’s  a party trick

<~~~~~~~~~~>

See, honey, how easy haibun is. Try some while I’m gone, if you’re feeling better.

X~~~~~~~~~~X

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